You completed the Blessing. And the next day, you fight. Now what?

Don’t worry. Our True Parents know all about the battle of the sexes. They both won it. That means your couple will win. The Holy Marriage Blessing gets together and keeps together what God has put together.

To explain, True Parents begin by stating that the difference of men and women, which are physical, spiritual, emotional, social, cultural, political and everything beyond and in-between, are from God. “Since God is a being of dual characteristics in harmonious union, can a man and a woman be the same? No, they are different.” Since they are from God, our differences serve good purposes that bring divine joy.  

To understand your husband, you need to sometimes fight with him. 

Then True Parents taught us how, in true love, husband-wife fighting strengthens peace. In True Father’s words, “sometimes you have to fight. In order to understand what kind of person your husband is, you need to sometimes fight with him, sometimes make love with him, and sometimes travel with him.”

In other words, True Parents’ love embraces husband and wife fighting. “There is a saying that a fight between a husband and wife is like cutting water with a knife. When you cut water with a knife, it doesn’t leave a trace. Likewise, even after fighting, a couple can put their foreheads together and giggle, and everything is settled. Only with love can peace come.”

To liberate this love, True Mother paid a unique indemnity. True Father explained, “She is doing everything that is difficult in a woman’s work. Even when she is in the position of being discredited by the husband, she has to keep absolute faith.”

When marriage is absolute, lose-lose resurrects as win-win.

Here’s the key: marriage is not win-lose. It’s lose-lose. Then, down at the bottom, where there’s nothing but, “we’re married and that’s absolute,” lose-lose resurrects as win-win.

The love of a husband and wife who are faithful to each other “has the capacity to encompass extremes and go still further.” True Father said, “If you look at the Chinese character ho, meaning ‘good,’ it combines characters for a female person and a male person. When a husband and wife fight, there seems to be no way to reconcile them, so what’s good about that? Yet if the two of them are in love, even after fighting ten times they can come together again. That’s the enormous power of love.”

(References: July 12, 2011; March 19, 2012; Second Cheon Seong Gyeong, p. 314, #22; The Way Our Blessed Families Should Go, August 21, 1971, p. 52, see

  • TH


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